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TELEGRAM TO THE EDITOR STOP DISMAYED TO FIND 100% INCREASE IN COST OF PORTHOLE STOP AFTER READING SLOPPY MUSH REALISED EXTRA PAGES INTENDED AS DIY SICK BAG STOP ASSUME PRICE BACK TO 1 YTL NEXT EDITION STOP HOPE NO MORE VOMIT INDUCING LETTERS STOP PLEASE PLEASE STOP ALBERT V MELDREW |
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portholenews@gmail.com |
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Ed replies: Printing costs alone are four lira per copy, so it’s lucky we have advertisers. Dear Ed, The 4 hours of Turkish lessons provided by Thomas were very useful & informative. His 'Improve your Turkish' articles in the Porthole help me to retain the Turkish already learnt. Occasionally I look through my Lonely Planet Turkish Phrasebook in a effort to learn more. Whilst browsing recently I came across an entry in the dictionary section "oral seks kondomu" with the translation "dental dam". My question to Thomas is what is a dental dam? Confused of Marmaris Ed replies: Of dental dams, Thomas knows nothing. Wikipedia, however, brought the following explanation: “Dental dams or rubber dams are rectangular |
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Dear Ed, OK, so you’ve got a full-colour newspaper. Does that justify the rediculous type-setting of my letters? P. A. R. O’noid of Netsel |
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WANT TO SUBMIT AN ARTICLE OR FEATURE? EMAIL US AT PORTHOLENEWS@GMAIL.COM |
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
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sheets of latex used in dentistry, specifically endodontic therapy. They are also used during sexual activities as a safe sex technique”. Dear Ed, Festina Lente! - 'more haste less speed'. Your latest Latin strap line, Apuden te vel me?, appears to be suffering from yet more spelling errors - even 'The Sun' or 'The News of the World' suffer less mistakes than 'The Porthole'. The first word written, Apuden, sounds like a Geordie dessert. I assume you meant to write Apudne te vel me? - your place or mine? It also appears to be more of a personal nature. I may be being presumptuous but it seems that after a few weeks as pen pals you now wish to take our relationship a stage further and change our discussions from Latin strap lines to Latin strap on's (Aliquantus)!! Perhaps the literal meaning of my name got you overly excited. I must point out that as a young lady of good up bringing (educated at Roedean) I could not condone such behaviour. I'm afraid the gods Bacchus, Faunus and Eros will have to party without me. Flattered though I am at your suggestion I must ask you to refrain from trying to impress me with nautical tales of golden rivets and continue our correspondence as before. |
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Yoni Bare Ed replies: A prize to the first reader who spots the spelling and grammatical errors in Yoni's letter. Dear Ed, This is a wonderful Marina run by caring people who give us all great service and excellent value for money. Of course it's not perfect. Thank Goodness! But do we want to turn it into another "Nanny State"? We are all here because we wanted to travel so lets just enjoy the fact that this is Turkey! On behalf of the silent majority Ed replies: We all agree. Dear Ed, What the hell happened to “Dear Dottie”? Did you sack her? Why? Doesn't anybody in this place have any juicy agony questions? BRING BACK DOTTIE! BRING BACK DOTTIE! Anon Ed replies: Dottie's sitting here waiting for your gossip... so send it in. |
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Michael of “Cirque du Soleil” & Wolfgang of “Aura” say: “We would like to inform you about our new website for liveaboards and sailors. www.happy-sailing.com PS. We are looking for translators. Can you help?” The editor apologizes for a mistake in a previous edition of The Porthole. We omitted a dot from Gaby's photograph website, so, |
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Bored? Have a guess how many people contributed to this week’s issue! Thank you all for your continued support. |
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WEBSITE OF THE WEEK |
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here it is: Only joking. The correct address for Gaby's photographs is: http://www.picasaweb. |
