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CAPTION COMPETITION

portholenews@gmail.com

Last week’s caption competition winner was Kadriye of Marmaris Yacht Marina.

 

“How am I going to

tell them we’ve run

out of John Smiths?”

Page

Guacamole! What is the point of it? Why would I want gooey green slop to dip my crisps in? With more than four hundred different flavours of fried potato snacks in a bag, why would I want, having selected the flavour of my choice, to then dip it in sludge and change the taste to avocado? If I wanted avocado flavoured crisps I would have bought avocado flavoured crisps. What is wrong with salt and vinegar? Remember the old salt and shake? “Bring them back” that’s what I say, and why not National Service while we’re on the subject of the

Good Old Days. It made a man of me. There are avocado flavoured crisps available but people still dip them in Guacamole. Is there some genetic defect at work here? Don’t even think of getting me started on Piccalilli. Who on earth wants to eat something the colour of nuclear waste?

GRUMPY OLD SALT

Alpharius

You’ve done the groundwork, now sit back and reap the rewards.

 

Bravio

Well done on ticking off those winter boat jobs. Beware you might be fooling yourself, there were 6 pages of them.

 

Charlius

If you see me in the bar, buy me a drink and good things will happen.

 

Deltacorn

You might think they’re laughing at you but, in fact they’re laughing near you.

 

Echorius

You are perfect in every way, keep it up.

 

Foxtrotus

2, 7, 21, 25, 32 and 46. Use this information wisely.

 

Golfo

Golf is a good

walk in the

country, spoilt.

Not a pontoon.

 

Hotelsius

If I was you I wouldn’t be me. I like being me usually.

 

Indies

You can take the bandages off now, but don’t touch it.

 

Juliettra

Your Romeo is out there, keep a good lookout.

 

Limacorn

Blah, Blah, Blah. Just get on with it.

 

Mikeces

Sorry I scared you guys last time but I will be saying Boo again soon.

 

Novemberus

If it’s your birthday this year you’ll be one year older than last year. Get used to it.

 

Oscra

Is that the pontoon with all the cats? Miaow.

 

Papacorn

I see you followed my advice last week and had a rest. You look like a new man/woman.

 

Hardus

If you treat this place like a boatyard you can only blame yourselves for the mess and noise.

 

Netselarius

I don’t know why I bother! You obviously don’t.

HorrorScopes

by Krystal Balls