When I left Storm Dodger there were seven kids in the cockpit, one up the mast (with her arm in a sling), a couple more down below and an empty plate of biscuit crumbs. "We wouldn't have it any other way", states Roger. "On the rare occasion that Astrid and I are on our own we just get bored". You see life with the Simms is all about family, and if anyone knows how to bring one up, it's Roger and Astrid. They've done it 40 times...

 

Roger's early life might just have well been lived out in the hit British TV drama, "Auf Wiedersehen Pet", as many of his early adult years were spent in Germany working "The Black" (cash in hand manual labour), which is where he met his German wife Astrid. He had left school without any qualifications and went to Gibraltar with his mates with the romantic idea of sailing across to the West Indies. Unfortunately this fell through and he ended up working on a coaster called 'Ramblas' in Gib. In fact the similarity to "Auf Wiedersehen Pet" continues as he actually worked with Chris Fairbank who played Moxy in the drama. "He was a very funny man and always had us in stitches". After a while Roger moved to Portugal to work on the oil supply vessel, "Valiant Service" which, on its way back to the UK, caught fire. "We were crossing Biscay in dead calm seas when the engine blew up. The entire boat caught fire but we managed to contain it and were eventually towed by a container ship to Guernsey".

 

Although this didn't put him off the seas he joined the land-lubbers in Germany to work as a crane driver, picked up welding as a skill and worked in the atomic power stations in Kandel. It was in Kandel that he met a certain bar maid who, after courting for a very short time, he proposed to and

got married 3 months later in England. "Everyone thought I was pregnant", jokes Astrid, "but we got married and I didn't have Danielle until a year later. Honestly! People often wonder about our marital status because we have five children of very different ages, but I can assure you, they are all our own and we've been happily married for 27 years."

 

Their own children are Danielle (24), Sarah (23), Jamie (22), Jordan (14) and Leah (8). Jordan and Leah currently live on the boat. "We planned for six kids and after 3 thought we might adopt”, continues Roger. "Of course financially it was very difficult for us so we'd frequently get cheap takeaways. It was in the local Chinese that I read an advertisement in a newspaper for foster parenting. This seemed to kill two birds with one stone as we could get paid to have more children", Roger quips. This was the start of thirteen years of fostering, which also included child minding and foreign exchange. "We've fostered around 35 to 40 kids", says Roger. "Some were short stays but some were with us for up to four  years. We always had at least six kids in the house and it wasn't unusual to see eighteen of us seated round the dinner table". "You can imagine the size of the cooking pot", adds Astrid. "I remember one child we nick-named 'Letter Box Smile' because he had a huge grin. He was from a very poor background and when I served up a massive pot of mashed potato he thought it was just for him! Of course the ladle had to be big too but he could fit the whole thing in his mouth."

 

As they took on more children Roger decided to earn more money by becoming a motor-cycle courier. "Has he explained why he's called 'The Miracle Rubber Man'?", asked Jordan. It turns out that Roger had an horrific motor-cycle accident

in which he was run over by a ten-ton tipper truck. "He should have been dead", says Yoland, Roger's mother, "yet he came away with only a few broken bones and spent just seven days in hospital. He actually had the imprint of the tyre track on his back". The story featured in a local newspaper which was picked up by a Sunday national and ran a full-page article entitled.... Yep, you guessed it... 'The Miracle Rubber Man'.  Next time you see Roger in the bar you know what to call him...

 

Fostering wasn't without its tribulations. "Some kids were really difficult", says Astrid. "We had a big house in Sutton which we spent all our money on to give them a great home, but we were frequently robbed".  One foster child made legal history when it was ruled that a child under sixteen could not be jailed if they were not a threat to the public. Instead they had to be put under the care of the local authority (Foster Care). "He was really well behaved with us but we soon found out that he was doing smash and grabs with a gang of kids who used to hire mini-cabs and travel around the country, racking up £750,000 worth of money, vouchers and clothes from M&S. It was so high profile the police set up 'Operation St Michel' in order to catch him. The thing was when he was caught he had to be returned to the care of the Local Authority. Guess who that was? The foster carers, which was always us!“

 

The police were convinced we were involved in the operation and we were under surveillance for nine months!

THROUGH THE PORTHOLE

The Simm Family of ‘Storm Dodger’

portholenews@gmail.com

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