http://www.followtheboat.com Tales (not just) from the high seas Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:30:12 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/11/16/please-stop-watching-me-wee/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/11/16/please-stop-watching-me-wee/#comments Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:12:02 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=25499 There's a difference between a toilet cleaner and a toilet attendant. A toilet cleaner is someone whose job it is to clean toilets. A toilet attendant, however, is different. Their job is to lurk by the entrance to the convenience and guide you through, as if the 'Toilet This Way' sign was not obvious enough, and then point you to a cubical or urinal they believe is most suitable for your requirements. They'll then mill around close by, putting you off going for a wee.]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/11/16/please-stop-watching-me-wee/feed/ 3 http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/09/13/in-india-its-always-the-womans-fault/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/09/13/in-india-its-always-the-womans-fault/#comments Tue, 13 Sep 2011 14:46:46 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=23938 Homepage of the BBC News website today: Indian actress banned from the Kannada Film Producers Association for having an affair with south India's action hero actor, Darshan. Apparently she has spoiled “the domestic harmony of a fellow actor”. Of course she has, she's a woman. It's always the woman's fault when a man has an affair behind his wife's back. Nikhita Thukral should be stoned. In fact she almost was...]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/09/13/in-india-its-always-the-womans-fault/feed/ 6 http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/06/06/bottomological-dilemma/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/06/06/bottomological-dilemma/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2011 00:00:31 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=23050 For those fortunate not to have experienced a squatter toilet, you're lucky: it's a combination of yoga, swimming and ****ing through the eye of a needle. But what I don't understand is how I am supposed to maintain a squatting position without getting cramp. And what is that bucket and jug combo for? I'm unsure. I do have a couple of theories though. Read on...]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/06/06/bottomological-dilemma/feed/ 23 http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/05/24/fair-enough-the-shame-of-the-indian-beauty-industry/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/05/24/fair-enough-the-shame-of-the-indian-beauty-industry/#comments Tue, 24 May 2011 17:19:09 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=23034 Like most countries Indian TV ads are a pile of crap. Here, though, it is the beauty industry that needs to hold its head in shame. Not only are the ads rubbish, many of them claim to make your skin lighter. We are told this by famous two-dimensional Indian actresses and beautiful, glamorous zombie-like models whose natural skin colour are near-white anyway. ]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/05/24/fair-enough-the-shame-of-the-indian-beauty-industry/feed/ 5 http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/01/30/miserable/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/01/30/miserable/#comments Sun, 30 Jan 2011 05:08:05 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=20999 A number of boats have turned up recently, heading west. Never before have I met such a miserable bunch of sailors. I thought it was just me but this morning a friend of ours who was cleaning her boat asked "What is it about these people?" They simply cannot bring themselves to say 'hello'." She is a cheery lady who could make even Scrooge smile. What do you think? Let us know.]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2011/01/30/miserable/feed/ 9 http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/12/21/a-festive-message/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/12/21/a-festive-message/#comments Tue, 21 Dec 2010 08:54:27 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=20870 Christmas is a' coming and the nuns are out in force. Yep, you can tell it's the festive season here in Cochin because the ladies in grey habits are running amok in the Christmas decoration shops. Clearly believing they have the blessing of The Lord Jesus Christ these little old ladies barge their way through the masses, desperate to purchase the most gaudy of decorations. There's definitely some perverse pecking order going on in this predominantly Catholic part of India. Using their elbows as weapons these sinister old birds have complete disregard for the poor local children unfortunate enough to walk into their paths.]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/12/21/a-festive-message/feed/ 6 http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/09/08/boo-hoo-india-is-so-expensive/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/09/08/boo-hoo-india-is-so-expensive/#comments Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:48:15 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=20591 I had one of the most ridiculous conversations with two yachties last week. The couple were complaining that India was really expensive. Incredulous I responded by arguing that food here is so cheap one can eat out at a restaurant for a quid. Quite frankly these Moaning Myrtles really get on my wick. Ready for a rant?]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/09/08/boo-hoo-india-is-so-expensive/feed/ 29 http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/29/mumbai-a-photographic-feast/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/29/mumbai-a-photographic-feast/#comments Sat, 29 May 2010 04:30:03 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=19977 Liz and I have always romanticised with the idea of sailing into a city. Sydney and Vancouver are two such examples but we never thought we'd get a thrill from sailing into Mumbai, the state capital of the Maharashtra region of central India. This truly is a cosmopolitan city and if you have never been then don't even begin to conjure up preconceptions of this place, they'll come nowhere near to the real thing! Mumbai is an assault on the senses; it very quickly became one of my fave cities ever visited, proof of which are the many photographs featured in this extravaganza of a blog post. We have photographs galore! In a departure to the usual 'inline' photographs that illustrate my narrative, I have instead put together some slide-shows: the images are bigger and there are more of them! Prepare to be dazzled...]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/29/mumbai-a-photographic-feast/feed/ 7 http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/14/welcome-to-india-t-bone-anyone/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/14/welcome-to-india-t-bone-anyone/#comments Fri, 14 May 2010 12:40:30 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=19915 Imagine our pride at having sailed over 4,000 miles, unassisted, without incident and without a scratch to Esper. I haven't mentioned that our autopilot packed up early on in the Gulf of Aden, so many of the last 2,000 miles were hand-steered. That's bloody hard work in case you didn't know. Imagine, then, our horror when approaching the Indian coast, after our incident-free 4,000 miles, we were t-boned by the stupid dumb-ass Indian Navy! ]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/05/14/welcome-to-india-t-bone-anyone/feed/ 10 http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/04/12/traveling-4000-miles-for-this/ http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/04/12/traveling-4000-miles-for-this/#comments Mon, 12 Apr 2010 02:56:46 +0000 Jamie http://www.followtheboat.com/?p=19890 You understand why we are doing this whole trip, don't you? We've left the rat-race and are off to discover new places. Places that inspire and excite. Really we are looking for that perfect idyllic sea where no man can be seen for miles around. So imagine sailing 4,000 miles, only to discover this...]]> http://www.followtheboat.com/2010/04/12/traveling-4000-miles-for-this/feed/ 10