'Ello Me Hearties!

April 5th, 2008

Portrait of a Sailor

A little photography project that was the result of some work I was doing for The Porthole. Having photographed a lot of the winter live-aboards here in Marmaris Yacht Marina, I took some of my fave shots, cropped them and played around with them, resulting in this collection of images. I'm hoping this will be a project I continue to add to because it's a lot of fun taking protraits.

The photographs were printed out and framed by the marina, who hung the protraits in the bar. The reaction was generally positive and encouraging, though there were a few mumbled comments like 'I can't believe how old he has made them look'! The best comment was 'where are the women sailors?'. That's something I'm working on! See the collection here.

April 2nd, 2008

Visa Run And New Sails!

Oh thank god for that! We actually made it out of the marina on our boat and did some sailing! Jeees, I'd almost forgotten my port from starboard it's been so long. To be honest I'd actually been developing a multitude of mental illnesses being cooped up here in the marina. It's not that we can't go sailing, it's just that other projects we volunteered ourselves for have taken over our lives and were having a detrimental affect on both our mental stability and our relationship, so a jolly good sail to Rhodes was much needed.

Although this was a standard visa run (Brits have to leave Turkey after 90 days to renew their visa), taking in Rhodes and all its finest supermarkets (think decent cheese, bacon, Marmite and so on), it was made a little different for two reasons: we took on board a sailing virgin, who has written a little piece for our log; and we hoisted two sails I never thought would see the light of day!

Check out the short log entry here and see our sailing virgin's artistic interpretation of our light wind sails. Very cool!

You'll be pleased to know that we finally put to bed The Porthole. It was a fantastic project to work on and was well received by the sailing community here in Marmaris Bay, but it was getting to the point where Liz and I were as stressed as we were when we worked in our jobs in London...and that wasn't why we'd come away sailing. So after nine issues, a lot of rum, countless arguments and laughter at the editors meetings, we finally bid The Porthole farewell. It will continue throughout the summer as a four-pager and hopefully some keen person will take it on again next autumn/winter. Good luck to them – it requires dedication and balls of steel, but it's well worth the effort.

March 22nd, 2008

Do-gooders Strike Again!

Do-Gooders plc strikes again! This time Liz and I teamed up with some of the other liveaboards and set up a local newspaper for the yotties here in Marmaris Bay. It's sponsored and paid for by Marmaris Yacht Marina but any money made from sales and advertising goes to two charities.

We've had great fun with the editorial team, who consist of Paul and Karen of 'Antigua Lady', Graham of 'Eeyore' and Gordon of 'Rama'. We'd meet on 'Rama', a beautiful 70m motor yacht dating from the 60s, polish off a few bottles of rum and put together a great publication that aims to educate and amuse the yotties here. Even more impressive, however, is the fact we have made of 2,500ytl for charity!

We've also had a stupid amount of parties, including Liz winning the Stars In Their Eyes Karaoke and me winning Miss Queen of Tarts at the Valentine's party. No doubt we'll write something up for the log very soon, though I'm not sure the picture of me in drag should be available for public viewing!

Don't forget to the use the 'previous' and 'next buttons at the top and bottom of the pages to work your way through the log chronologically.

Check it all out here.

December 28th, 2007

Do-Gooders plc

It was only a matter of time before our claustrophobic and self-absorbed lifestyle would come to a head. For us stuck in the marina it was going to go one of two ways: go totally self destructive or get off our arses and do something constructive. At the rate we were drinking and partying we were both seriously on a road to burn-out with sudden self-combustion on the pontoon the final step to oblivion.

It's a dangerous thing, this marina lifestyle. One arrives with a sense of objection, not wanting to get sucked into the trappings of the comfortable and friendly society that exists here, but instead vowing to go off for winter day sails and mentally planning the odd weekend in empty anchorages. But with a heavy dose of bad weather come the excuses and if before you know it you're getting comfortable in the bar rather than behind the helm.

So a chance meeting with one man and his boat changed everything. It changed our future plans as sailors. It created a crossroads at which we would normally have gone one way, but have chosen to go the other. You know what I mean: one of those rare occasions which you look back on as being a significant moment in your life. Don't ever tell me it's 'fate' or 'synchronicity', mind, cos it's just timing, but we needed to do this. Not for the sanity of ourselves but for the 'small' people around the world.

Do-Gooders plc was formed many years ago by a certain Greenpeace skipper. Of course it's not really a company, but a term he created to describe the work that people around the world do for the good of others. Members of Do-Gooders plc are frequently active, rarely thanked........and always criticised.

Do-Gooders plc Marmaris Branch organised two events this winter. The first was an innocent Winter Charity Pool Tournament.
The second was much, much bigger.........

Don't forget to the use the 'previous' and 'next buttons at the top and bottom of the pages to work your way through the log chronologically.

Mind you, if there is one thing us yotties can do well, it's party (though our sailing skills are questionable). Liz summarises the remainder of the year through the eyes of a barfly, including dressing up as zombies, hippies and singing badly every Friday night. Check it all out here.

November 15th, 2007

Cogs, Cats & Constellations

It's always good fun when friends come to visit, but the best is when the folks come for a week's holiday! This was marred only slightly by the ongoing gearbox saga, but with a little help from some friends (and Mum and Dad) we got our fixed transmission back into place and were able to take the boat back out to sea! Hoorah!

On top of this our sailing virgin cat, Millie, came for her first jaunt across the waters and helped us discover a great little anchorage only one mile outside of Marmaris Bay.

Perhaps the best thing of all, however, is that we can get the parents, with their wit and humour, to write their own log entries for Follow The Boat, accompanied by their own photographs, taking the pressure off of us as we spend time working on other projects. So without further ado, for your reading and viewing pleasure, we present Cogs, Cats and Constellations!

October 8th, 2007

Speedophiles And Kittens

A while back in the log I joked we'd still be in Marmaris Yacht Marina with a broken gearbox, really thinking that we'd be half way down the Lycian coast having had a jolly good sail throughout the summer. Well, it's now the 8th of October and we're still here, sans gearbox.

A log should be a record of observations and events that are interesting to the reader. Reading about our gearbox is hardly interesting unless you're the twat who took the gearbox out, three times, and returned it claiming it was working. It isn't and I proved it myself by sticking it on a lathe and replicating the problem....blah blah blah. Far more interesting is the fact we now have a new permanent crew member, complete with two tattoos, and our adventures in Marmaris Yacht Marine, which have culminated in falling out with staff and security, stealing golf carts, stacking tricycles off the pontoon and taking pictures of over-weight Germans in Speedos.

Drunken antics are not always interesting to read unless you were there yourself, but I've got nothing else to write about. I'm going completely stir crazy with this waiting game. Yes, I can hear you claiming you'd prefer to be stuck in sunny Turkey on a boat waiting for a new gearbox rather than sitting at a desk in an office having just travelled in the foul weather to get to work, but remember, it's all relative.

Still, I'll always associate rugby with my times on a boat. In the 2003 World Cup final I celebrated England's win with a Mid-Atlantic swim. This weekend England happy-slapped the Aussies, which makes up for our continuing gearbox problems!

August 19th, 2007

Put A Sock On It

Summer Season Part Two witnesses a whole day of naked sailing, the discovery of talc and annoying mechnical things that could have been simple to sort out had we had more knowledge than we do. Which is very little. Growing, but still minuscule.

I think it was Clare Frances who first coined the phrase 'spotty botty', which describes a common ailment amongst sea-faring folk. What with the chafing of man-made fabrics against a constantly salt-encrusted bum one can't be too precious about the appearance of one's derrière. As a consequence of said combination one's cheeks can be afflicted with annoying little itchy and unsightly spots. These buggers will not go away. Doesn't matter how frequently you shower with the most expensive skin cremes Boots has to offer, even a thirty quid tub of half ounce Clarins won't shift these blighters. Well, remember talc? That stuff your mum would slap across your smooth botty after you'd weed your pants for the fifth time that day? Talc. Talc is the answer. My life has been transformed from an irritating and slightly painful dressing ritual first thing in the morning to a joyous, oh-so happy parade of shower gel, towel and a slap o' talc around the privates. A revelation! Hoorah for talc. Make talc an essential purchase next time you nip down the shops. You'll be pleasantly surprised. And relieved.

Not that you'd see any evidence of talc in our recent trip from Palamut to Marmaris. I was very careful to cover up, even if the entire 50 mile, 9 hour trip was spent completely stark la la nekid. Now that I have got over my paranoia of voyeurs peeping at me from 20 miles away (let's face it, they'd need a bloody powerful telescope) I feel a lot more comfortable tripping over lines and winches with my jewels slapping me across the thigh than I did a few weeks ago. However the realisation that I was exposing some skin that had probably never seen daylight lead me to be cautious and cover up. With a sock. Yes, a sock, a la Red Hot Chilly Peppers. Looks absolutely ridiculous but it works wonders! Keeps the old boy protected whilst achieving that all-over tan reserved only for slightly-balding, overweight German naturists. Just one thing: don't assume that because the sun is in front of you you don't need to slap some factor 30 on your bum (even if it is now spot-free). Yes, a 99% all-over tan and bright red sun-burnt arse is not a good look.

Talking of good looks, I went all Bohemian whilst back in Gumusluk and made myself a leather choker with red evil-eye beads, was given a red earring from Liz and have nicked one of her silver charms and made a necklace. So with that and the bandanna I really do look like an ocean-hippy twat. One friend labeled me a sea-gypsy but that's a bit un-PC, isn't it? Ocean hippy twat it is then.

And then there's annoying mechanical boat thingys. Damn nuisance these boats and their complex bits of metal, fiddly wire, plastic, smelly chemicals and stuff. Not having a reverse gear has led to a few hair-raising incidents recently, so Liz and I have had our fair share of stress having to deal with these issues. I'm sure I have your full sympathy. I mean it's prevented us from spending time in new anchorages and that's not a good thing. Still, touch wood, we are now at the beginning of Summer Part Two, starting at Marmaris. Let's see what happens.......

June 18th, 2007

DUMB, DUMBER & DUMBEST?

Liz:
Without wanting to be rude we just had to add this to the home page - three of the dumbest things we've heard regarding boats!

1. Fill her up!
My friend Emma was talking to her friend about sailing across the Atlantic, a dream that Emma and I both share. They were discussing the route, the best time to go and how long it takes. Emma's friend's boyfriend then butted in and asked what happened when you ran out of petrol.. Emma pointed out that 99% of yachts have diesel engines and anyway, she'd be sailing across. He persisted and wanted to know what happens when you ran out of fuel. He asked Emma where you filled up your tank...! Emma's friend straight-facedly told him there were Shell and BP garages dotted right across the Atlantic, while Emma guffawed at the idiocy of men in the background.

Esper in Bozburun town quay

2. Anchoring Techniques
Whilst having dinner with some friends of a friend recently I was quizzed by the girl about sailing long distances, like across the Atlantic. She wondered what you did at night. I explained that you carried on sailing. She was non-plussed. She couldn't understand why you didn't stop. I further explained that you have a watch system and people take it in turns through the day and night to sail the vessel. She was still confused. “But don't you just drop the anchor?” she asked. Not without several miles of chain, you don't, love!

3. Floating Boats?
Overheard from the row behind during a ferry crossing, 2 holiday reps on a day off, looking out the window:
Girl 1: “Ooh look. That big ship's just stopped.”
Girl 2: “How do you know it's stopped?”
Girl 1:” It's not going anywhere, see?”
Girl 2: “No... it is. You can see the white bits on the sea round it.”
Girl 1: “Oh yeah.”
Girl 2: “The thing is, right. How come they don't fall over when they stop?”
Girl 1: “I dunno. Yeah, they should, shouldn't they?”
Girl 2: “I think it's something to do with those little air pockets they have in the bottom.”

Thanks, girls!

June 12th, 2007

Three Misconceptions About Sailing

Liz and I are currently at anchor in Bozuk Buku, somewhere between Datca and Marmaris. Yesterday we went for a wander round the old citadel and got onto the topic of misconceptions about sailing and what it's like to live on a boat. If you have never sailed before we hope this helps allay any illusions you have about our world.

1. It's all Pimms and blazers
There are as many different types of sailors as there are people. Unfortunately you do get twats in blazers or jumpers thrown over the shoulders, but you also get hippies, old folk, young folk, live-aboards, weekend sailors, cool dudes, funny people, married couples, solo sailors, families, rich, poor.......and the French. Life's rich tapestry and all that. I think the boating world suffered a PR disaster in the '80s when the yuppie uniform was white shorts, deck shoes, stripy shirts and Raybans. Unfortunately there are still a few of them around but we tend to avoid them if we can.

2. Isn't it claustrophobic?
As Liz puts it, 'How can living on a boat be claustrophobic when the sky is your ceiling?' What landlubbers fail to recognise is that most of the time we are either up on deck, swimming in the sea, exploring new-found locations or in the bar. A boat may very well be smaller than a house but having the ability to move it around whilst taking in the open air is truly liberating. To a sailor you couldn't get more claustrophobic than living in a house.

Liz (and Esper in the background) in the ancient city of Loryma, in the anchorage of Bozuk Buku

3. Where's the mental stimulation?
A friend of mine once asked me what I would be doing for mental stimulation whilst living on the boat. It made me realise the complete lack of understanding non-sailors have about what it takes to run a boat and I was guilty of this too before I took to the seas. Consider passage planning, checking the weather, trimming the sails, navigation and chart reading, log-keeping, contingency planning, being aware of other vessels, maintenance, keeping an eye on the safety of crew.... there is never a moment when your brain is not active. I am more mentally alert now than I have ever been in my life. Except after a heavy night like last night - I'm quite surprised I can construct sentences right now.

May 20th, 2007

A Rather Big Celebration

Blimey, it's been over 6 weeks since we updated the home page, and so much has happened. Time flies when you put your boat in the water, celebrate Liz's 50th birthday, entertain guests for 10 days and clock up 160nm. On top of this there is scandal in the boat yard, but we've yet to decide if we should report on this since it's a pretty nasty story. We'll do a poll – if you'd like to know more, email us!

In a nut shell we completed all the jobs we wanted to do before dropping Esper in the water on the 1st May, in time for a rather big celebration – Liz's big five-o. To help us through the beer, wine and raki we had Liz's mum, Dorothy, visit again. If you remember she christened the boat in our naming ceremony two years ago. Accompanying her was her boyfriend John, who can't walk down the street for more than 20 minutes without popping into the nearest bar for a quick one. One of Liz's best friends, Jayne, joined us on the boat as well, whilst Chris popped over too. By the time we made our way to the restaurant after pre-dinner drinks aboard Esper we had 25 people seated round the table!

Liz and Jamie celebrate Liz's 50th

Some great sailing has been achieved within this time, including a rather fun 25 knots of wind behind us yesterday, with Esper hitting 9 knots. That was with Jamie's cousin, Jason, and his fiancée, Orla, over from Ireland for the week.

And then today I met the previous owner of Esper in the marina. I may be biased but I think he looked rather longingly at Esper, mumbling comments about her still being the prettiest boat in the marina ;)

Tomorrow we're offline again so no chance of updating the log at the moment, and next week we have another two visitors coming for a sail. It's a hard life.

To read the latest log entry for Summer 2007, click here.

March 28th, 2007

Mind Your Ps and Ts

This week we learned about the three Ps and the three Ts. Both have had a significant effect on us.

We met our first internet sailing buddy the other night, Christer, of s.v. Lady Jessie. A well-rounded and experienced Swede who, it turns out, has sailed with Michelle (she of Voyager fame). Anyway, after a few rakis we got onto the subject of where Liz and I plan to sail to next. As some of you know we had been discussing a trans-Atlantic trip to the Caribbean but Christer told us of the joys of sailing east. It was at this point that he explained the three top cruising places in the world: Turkey, Thailand and Tonga. We pulled out a world cruising guide and pored over the charts and Liz and I started romanticising about sailing to Thailand! And there we have it! Our latest plan now, after we leave Turkey, will be to head east. As Mark frequently urged us, “sail east, young man, sail east'. I don't think Christer fully appreciates the profound effect this has had on our future plans but we're up for it and this is what we will now be working towards. It's nice to have a plan, and even nicer to have no time constraint put on it!

Esper, back in the water!

The other lore, the three Ps, was invented by Liz the other day after a very gruelling time installing our Navtex aerial. The whole job took a total of three solid days (but that's another story) and required Patience, Persistence and Partnership. With much cursing, swearing, hurling of spanners and 'I give up' (from me), and some positive encouragement (from Liz), we finished the fiddly job of feeding a cable through the mast. Afterwards, over a beer, Liz suggested that the elements of the three Ps are what saw us through the job.

As we continue to work on the boat at an ever more productive rate, we learn new things each day. Boat maintenance is a huge subject we've only begun to sample, but after servicing the engine and installing some electronics this week we're expanding our knowledge base all the time.

Now we just want to get the damn thing in the bloody water and go sailing! Oh, sorry, I must remember Patience.

To read the latest log entry for Spring 2007, including battling furry creatures, click here.

March 7th, 2007

In between replacing portlight seals and drilling new holes into Esper (a job that frequently brings on anxiety attacks) we've continued to develop the FTB website, and there is a new addition: FTBWiki! For those who are still in the dark, a wiki allows anyone to add new pages and edit existing pages within the Library without the intervention from us. The idea is to house a whole range of documents on boating, from marina lists, anchorages, customs formalities and boat maintenance, all available to anyone who browses the wiki pages. Should a document require updating, anyone can add their own information to the pages so that the information is expanded and corrected as more and more people contribute. In this way wikis are self governing. A great example of a wiki is Wikipedia.

So, whether you're a boat builder, a yachting enthusiast or just someone who knows of a good pub by the sea, you are welcome to add your own information into the relevant pages within the wiki.

FTBWiki only went live a few days ago and is in its early developmental stages and we are open to formatting ideas but if you have any content you'd like to add, don't email us, just add it!

February 2007

Bus Station
Stansted Airport, UK
Liz and I were waiting by the bus depot for our connection to Gatwick Airport (we'd had to return to the UK to attend to some family business). The sun was trying to break through the dull, grey afternoon but the bite in the air just made waiting for the delayed National Express all the more miserable. We were watching all the other buses coming and going and observed three young girls give desperate chase to their bus that had just closed its doors and start reversing out of its parking space. The vehicle was barely moving so the girls, who had nothing but hand luggage, indicated to the driver to stop to let them on. The driver just shook his head and continued reversing as the poor girls looked on in bewilderment. "Bloody jobs-worth", correctly observed Liz.

Bus Station
Bodrum, Turkey
Liz and I were waiting by the bus depot for our connection to Icmeler. The sun cast a brilliant light across a cloudless afternoon and the warmth was comforting, despite the time of the year. We were watching all the other buses and taxis coming and going and observed a car slowly back into a parked taxi, bending the taxi's cow-bar bumper and making a rather nasty squeeking screach. The reversing car stopped, the driver and his passengers jumped out to confront the taxi driver. Then they smiled, shook hands and hugged before exchanging details!

I was going to continue this log entry with an analysis of why we're leaving to undetake our new life aboard Esper, but I think that comparison stands on its own. Food for thought.

December 2006

We've finally made it! After six months of hard graft...well, some graft and some socialising...Liz and I completed the renovation of the flat in London, got tenants in, packed our gear and made the move that we have been planning the last three years. Yes folks, we are now in Turkey aboard Esper and are fully-fledged live-aboards!

Sunset across Bodrum. Never fails to impress!

OK, so the boat is still on the hard in the boat yard, but the feeling of having finally made it makes up for the cold winter nights and the lack of the sound of water lapping against the hull. We still have to climb down that precarious ladder to get to the toilet block whilst risking rabid guard dogs pouncing at us from the dark corners of the yard, but the sensation of relief and the weight that has been lifted from our shoulders is overwhelming. This is especially so for Liz who, having spent every waking hour either selling silk for a Chinese manufacturer or stripping wallpaper these last 10 years, she is starting to realise her dream.

So now we make the most of the short days and dry environs by setting to and making good Esper, who appears to have sprung a few leaks here and there and is looking a little sorry for herself. Nothing that a bit of TLC can't sort out!

August 2006

Half way through the summer and we haven't been sailing once this year! What's going on?! Well actually we're busy DIYing our flat in preparation to move on to the boat, which was supposed to be by August, but you know how these always take longer than one anticipates. It's frustrating, especially as we continue to read other people's sailing stories and get phone calls from friends on their boats having a wonderful time on the water as we slave over a wallpaper steamer and curse as we attempt a bit of home plastering.

It looks like we'll now be moving to Turkey sometime in October, just in time for the cold winter months! Still, it'll give us an opportunity to get to know the boat a bit better and practice those important man-overboard skills.

December 2005

Phew!
Nine hundred miles, fifty web pages, two hundred photographs, thirteen video clips, twenty guests and one bent swimming platform later we present to you Esper's Summer Sailing Log 2005!

Read how we broke new speed records, learnt how to berth in gale-force gusts, discovered idyllic anchorages, waved to passing turtles, were subjected to awful Turkish pop music and reversed the boat into the marina pontoon. Ahem.